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<title>That's not a raccoon by Kamikaze_187</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22363816">That's not a raccoon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamikaze_187/pseuds/Kamikaze_187'>Kamikaze_187</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Team Fortress 2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Freeform, M/M, idk what to tag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:43:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,289</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22363816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamikaze_187/pseuds/Kamikaze_187</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>soldier finds that something is happening to his lieutenant raccoon and the most logical thing that occurs to him is to go see his engineer to see if he knows what happens to him, then discover that something was wrong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Engineer/Soldier (Team Fortress 2)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>That's not a raccoon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"¡Engie!" Soldier enter to the workshop kicking open the door reinforced with several locks. The engineer does not even flinch at the sudden invasion of his property, as it has become very common for the soldier to continue to enter in such a crude manner, no matter how many times he taught him that there is something called a door knob.</p><p>"Hm? What's wrong now partner?"</p><p>"it's lieutenant bites, something wrong with him. He is acting really weird, He's don't try to cut out my fingers or bite me or scratch my body or whatever. He just still in my belly and keep doing those weirdest movement and sound I never heard from him. You need to fix him now" he have commanded in the form of a strict order while moving the animal in its outstretched arms from side to side for the engineer to examine.</p><p>Dell slowly turned around thinking about what to answer the man and how to make him understand without confusing him anymore. First of all he doesn't understand much about animals. second, he will not be able to "fix" whatever he has or happens to the raccoon and they are not machines that he knows how to repair like any armament or equipment and he is not a kind of veterinarian who specializes in animals, and third... that's not a raccoon, is not the lieutenant bites.</p><p>"Ah... solly?"</p><p>"What Engie, did you find out what's wrong with bites?"</p><p>"Well... almost..." he took off his helmet and scratched his semi-bald head, "solly. You know what you are holding in your arms is a cat, right?"</p><p>"Of course I know, he was a..." soldier stopped talking. he approached the "cat" closer to his face to look closely and yes, Engie was right, it wasn't bites at all. The cat had some dirt on most of its fur and on the face and its colors resembled those of the raccoons and bites.</p><p>"That's why he is acting 'weird' soldier"</p><p>"...your dirty impostor, where are bites, what you did to my lieutenant bites, responds my question" soldier shakes him a little but not cruelly and the cat only meow happily placing his fluffy paw on his nose.</p><p>"Solly don't shake it like that, poor fella did nothing wrong" he tried to calm the soldier.</p><p>"Who says so, he may be working for the spy or he may be an undercover agent spying on all our movements. It is said that cats are cunning, give bad luck and are the symbol of evil, and have the same aura as a thief Look at this, this proves what I'm saying , he knew how to disguise himself to infiltrate our territory" the engineer raised an eyebrow and avoided laughing at that paranoia of his.</p><p>"Who told you that?"</p><p>"Err... I just know" the soldier hands the 'undercover agent' to the engineer.</p><p>"Wha-"</p><p>"You will watch this dirty spy while I'm going to look for bites, wherever they hide it, I'll find it"</p><p>"But soldier, what I am supposed to do with him-" did not have the time to stop him in time because he shot through the same door he entered, taking the course of his mission to find Lieutenant Bites.</p><p>The engineer stared at the door while shaking his head with a crooked smile on his face.</p><p>"Poor dummy. Ah... And now... what happened to you little fella?" The engineer made sure to use his hand with the glove to caress the cat's dirty fur, the cat emitted sounds of appreciation while leaning on the soft caresses, for part of the man who holds him in his soft arms.</p><p>"Hm... you are kinda cute" the cat meow once more while his little stomach roared. "Oh... you must be very hungry, right?" the cat meowed once like saying 'yes' "I'm going to see if I have something for you in the fridge, little fella, but how about If you take a bath first. Hm?" The poor kitten did not agree with that last one.</p><p>(More than 20 minutes later)</p><p>"ENGIE!" Soldier kicked in again at the door, approached the engineer and threw his head on his shoulder, "I can't find Lieutenant Bites anywhere" he says somewhat disappointed.</p><p>Engineer pats him on the back to comfort him a little, "calm solly, it will appear" (unless there fell into the hands of a bear trap or hunters) "but what if in the meantime you do not entertain with this little lady here" he show him the cat in his arms.</p><p>"Engie, I'm not in the mood to deal with dirty communists now," the soldier returned to his laments.</p><p>"Err... but solly, I... I already questioned some serious question to her before you arrived, and she swore to me that she has nothing to do with those things of communism, and that she has been out of trouble and is not spying anyone" the soldier snap out from his shoulder and looking at him.</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yeah"</p><p>"How do you know?" soldier has his doubts.</p><p>"Err... I know a little about these things" he obviously lied.</p><p>"Hmm... good" the engineer thanks internally that he doesn't ask any more questions, he's not good at lying.</p><p>"By the way soldier. Where did you find our little friend here?"</p><p>"I was digging through the garbage"</p><p>"Oh, I see" that's why she was so hungry, she was trying to survive the poor. Being a stray cat or abandoned by its owners or being lost, being so young. Suddenly an idea came to his mind.</p><p>"Solly, why don't you take care of this poor lady for a few days until she can stand on her own again, hm? You're pretty good with animals and she likes you very much."</p><p>"The cats are weak Engie, they are not strong like my raccoons, I need strong troops that can open holes in the walls if they want" he gets in the way.</p><p>"But she is a lady, solly. It doesn't need to be as you say, she's delicate and she needs a home for now until she finds someone better, and I know you very well and I know you will take good care of her, you do it well with the raccoons "</p><p>"But what about bites engie? What if he comes back while I have this weakling, he would leave the army instantly without leaving some fallen members in his path"</p><p>"Well... it doesn't matter, I guess I was wrong at you, ah ...I guess this mission is a lot for a soldier like you and you would surely fail to take care of a simple cat with yourself" he bothers him a little</p><p>"...WHAT, no mission enough for me, you don't know me well grease monkey. I can be able to take care of a weak cat and make it stronger than anyone else, and I WILL SHOW YOU" he took the cat in his arm and the engineer was quick to tell him to be gentle with her, the cat stretched her body a little, positioning herself comfortably in that new comfortable place and quickly falling asleep. The soldier was supervising every movement that made the polizon on his arm, his face could not help but get a smile on it.</p><p>"Got ya"</p><p>"Shut up!" Soldier watched as the little genie laughed at him, "now you're in a big problem engie, for disrespecting your superior" he took the engineer's arm and dragged him out of the workshop with him, "Where are you taking me, I have work that do, you know "</p><p>"You're dismissed from your job. And now your new duty his to help me to take care of this ma'am here without exception, THAT'S CLEAR ENOUGH PRIVATE?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I came up with this idea of soldier confusing a cat with a raccoon and then I thought about the rest and decided to write this thing here.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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